Monday, December 21, 2015

All the truth about...

 ...why 2015 may have been tough but 2016 is gonna rock!
(true thing; scientifically proved; factual stuff inside; soon on TV)

After hours of hard work, complex calculations and exhaustive studies (little white lie), we are pretty proud, genuinely glad and - needless to say - extremely relieved to announce that:
2016 is going to be a great year.

the views while climbing at Calamès: yes, this was Dec.18th in Ariège!
Okay, let's face it at once: 2015 was a mess. 2015 was pretty hard on us all. 2015 sucked. 2015 was a year we'll all want to forget and we're not going to waste your time trying to justify this assumption, since you probably all agree. 2015 was the year equivalent of a movie with Ryan Goslin: many expectations, little bit of this, little bit of that, ambitious soundtrack, snobbish photography; reminds you of many good things you've seen before but in worse; pretends to be smart but doesn't make any sense at all and in the end, sadly fails to get anywhere... Okay, this is maybe a bit of too harsh: there were good things too in 2015. To name just one: Global Warming! which allowed us to climb on a Dec. 18th in shorts and t-shirts at the closest crag, with a lovely bunch of smiling English expats. Or the globalized production, distribution and retail system, which allows us to enjoy amazingly fresh organic oysters from Oléron island in the middle of the Pyrenees mountains! Okay, sarcasm is taking us nowhere...

Bourgogne wine and Oléron oysters: yes, this was Dec.18th in Ariège!
But if you look at it closely enough, there's no big surprise (there seldom are). As a number, 2015 is NOT COOL at all. 2015 only accepts to be divided by 5. Then by 13 and 31. Now, talk about being flexible! Or resilient! Come on, 2015: you could have made some concessions. But none! Instead, 2015=5x13x31. Honestly, just - how - lame - is - that? Seriously: 13x31? A palindromic product of primes: a PPP! a Pee Pee Pee! What could one expect from 2015 but disappointment? Not only is 13x31 gross, it is also unnatural and scary. 2015 is a numeric equivalent of Cronenberg's creepy dysfunctional fantasies from the eighties. An unpleasant freak. The public has voted and the adventure is over for you, 2015! You're the weakest link, 2015! You're out! Out!


(with a nice celestial music sounding now, e.g. Schubert's litanei for piano and cello...)

Now, mathematically speaking, 2016 is an incredibly rich year.
2016 accepts pretty much all factors: a sign of tolerance:
it accepts division by all numbers from 1 to 9, but 5. Hard to believe? Look:

2016 / 1 = 2016 ; 2016 / 2 = 1008 ; 2016 / 3 = 672 ; 2016 / 4 = 504 ;
2016 / 6 = 336 ; 2016 / 7 = 288 ; 2016 / 8 = 252 ; 2016 / 9 = 224.

It is also (logically enough) a multiple of the product of any of the numbers: 2, 3, 4, 6, 7 and 8.
2016 is full of possibilities. Still can't believe us? Look here:
2016 = 12x168 = 14x144 = 16x126 = 18x112 = 21x96 = 24x84 = 28x72 = 32x63= 36x56 = 42x48. And all the way down again = 48x42 = 56x36 = 63x32 =... Cool, isn't it?

2016 is twice 1008, which is 1x2x3x4 x6x7.
1 is Whole, 2 is Union, 3 is Heaven and 4 is Earth, 6 is Evil and 7, Perfection.
What else? 2016 will include and embrace every thing 2015 didn't...

Let's play a bit more: 2016 = 42x48, we've seen that earlier. But 42 and 48 happen to be 45-3 and 45+3, respectively. Doesn't it ring a bell from high school? Exactly: (a+b) x (a-b)!

So, if 2016 = (45+3)x(45-3), then 2016 = 452 - 32.
Really? Does it? 452 = 2025 and 3= 9. 
2025 – 9 = 2016. Yes, Ma'am! QED.
2016 should thus be smart and accurate, shiny and crystalline. Perfect.

(if you're done with the litanei, how about trying some Bach&Gounod now?)

Anyway, we don't want to complain of the year we're about to say goodbye to, for it is not nice nor constructive.

* literally: "landing forbidden from June 1st until the grass' harvest" !!!
Needless to say we do NOT believe in numerology (except maybe when it comes to the magic of numbers in music or in nature, the perfection of their cold beauty "as a stone dream", said Baudelaire...). So, if anything at all, this funny bullsh... was most probably a projection of our very own humble experience during this past year and our very own sincere hopes for the year to come, respectively. Our sincere apologies to the people who do believe in numerology: we did not intend to offend them, nor to be disrespectful in any way. This was no truth, just a random mixture of cold maths facts and dubious claims. We happen to be expecting the new year with sheerer eagerness than ever before...

We'll wish year a happy new you as soon as possibly possible (y como Dios manda!) so meanwhile, remember NOT TO land until the grass has been harvested*, enjoy the Winter Solstice and each one of these 10 merry un-Christmas days!

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